Infidelity Counselling in Digbeth, Birmingham
Make sense of what's happened, and find a way through it, whether that's together or apart.
Does This Sound Familiar?
An affair rarely hits both people in a relationship at the same time, or the same way. You might recognise your situation in one of these:
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You've just found out, or found out a while ago, and you're consumed by questions you can't put down. What else wasn't true? Can you trust your own judgement about this relationship, or anything in it?
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You're the one who had the affair. The guilt doesn't lift, and every answer you give either isn't enough or reopens the wound. You're walking on eggshells in your own home, unsure what will set off the next difficult conversation.
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You're stuck in a cycle: one of you pressing for more answers, the other shutting down or withdrawing, and it always ends the same way, with both of you exhausted and further apart.
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You don't know yet whether you want to stay together, and you're worried that coming to counselling means you've already decided.
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You have children, and you're trying to work out what they need to know, and how much, without making things worse.
Coming to counselling doesn't mean the relationship is over, and it doesn't mean you've decided to stay. It means you want support to work out what's actually true, and what you both want to do about it.
How Counselling Helps
I don't focus on assigning blame, or working out who was "more wrong." That framing rarely helps anyone move forward. Instead, we work to:
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Understand what the affair meant, not just why it happened, for both of you individually and for the relationship.
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Slow down the cycle of interrogation and shutdown, so conversations about what happened stop ending in the same place every time.
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Rebuild a sense of safety in your own judgement, if you're the partner who was betrayed.
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Find a way to take responsibility that doesn't collapse into constant self-punishment, if you're the partner who had the affair.
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Get clear on what trust, and forgiveness, would actually look like for you, rather than what you feel you're supposed to want.
You can come individually or as a couple. Sometimes it helps to explore your own experience on your own first, especially in the early stages when emotions are running high, before bringing things into joint sessions.
My Background
I have trained through Relate, a key spcialist provider of relationship support across England & Wales, which means our sessions aren't just informal chats. I use evidence based frameworks to help couples identify & break negative patterns. On top of that, my training is accredited by the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society.
Location & Fees
I provide sessions in my room at the Greenhouse, which is just a short walk from the city center, with evening and weekend availability to fit around your work schedules. All sessions are 60 minutes in length and I charge £60 for individual counselling and £90 for couples counselling.
Questions You Might Have
Will I be judged, or will you take sides?
No. It's a common worry, on both sides, that the betrayed partner will automatically be supported and the partner who had the affair automatically blamed. My role isn't to hand out verdicts. It's to help you both understand what's happened and what you want to do next.
What if we don't know whether we want to stay together?
That's a completely normal place to start. Many couples come to counselling to work out whether the relationship has a future, not because they've already decided it does.
Do we have to come together, or can we do this separately?
Either works. Some people start on their own before bringing their partner in; others come straight into joint sessions. Read more here about what a first session with me looks like.
What if my partner won't come to counselling?
Come on your own. Working through your own experience, on your own terms, can shift the dynamic between you, even before your partner is ready to join.
Ready? Let's have a chat.
I'm looking forward to working with you. Please click the link below to contact me and I'll be in touch to arrange your free 30 minute consultation.
The next step after this call, if we feel we're a good fit for each other, is to book your first counselling session.