My Blog

When an affair is revealed or discovered, a couple almost instantly gets trapped in a brutal, exhausting loop. The partner who’s been hurt starts asking questions - loads of them, usually the exact same questions in slightly different variations. The person who committed the affair ends up feeling cross-examined, giving the same answer over and over while thinking: I’ve told you this. Why do you keep asking me a question when you already know the answer hurts you? If you stra

Walking into a couples counselling room for the first time can feel daunting. It is a bit strange, frankly, to sit down and spill your relationship issues to a stranger. So if you’re feeling a bit sceptical about the whole thing, that’s completely fair. Let’s take the mystery out of it, then. I’ll walk you through exactly what the process looks like when you work with me. It doesn't actually start with the first session; it starts with the consultation call. Key Takeaways A 3

If you’re sitting there with a dropped stomach while your partner prepares for a date, you’ve probably assumed you’re dealing with jealousy. You look for resources, and everything tells you to manage your "fear of loss"... But what if you aren’t actually afraid of losing them? What if you're just looking at their life and feeling a sharp sting because they seem to be having a much better time than you are? There is a distinct difference between jealousy and envy in non-monoga

You’ve been sitting with this for a while, haven’t you? Whether it started as a passing "what if" or a deep dive into polyamory reels, the thought has stuck . Now comes the dilemma: you haven’t told your partner yet . You’ve done the dress rehearsals, but the stakes feel enormous. Frankly, who wouldn’t put that off? But the longer you sit with it, the bigger it gets. Let’s talk about how to actually have the conversation. Key Takeaways The "Why" Matters: "I don't know, it j

Jealousy in non-monogamy carries an extra, heavy weight. There’s a persistent myth that "evolved" people don’t feel it, that they only feel compersion, and if you’re struggling, you simply haven't "done the work". That narrative is silly. Jealousy isn't a sign of failure; it’s a normal human response to a complex situation. Here is the direct truth about what jealousy actually is and, more importantly, what you can do with it. Key Takeaways Jealousy is Information, Not Evi

If you’ve been trying to figure out whether you want polyamory or an open relationship, you’ve likely noticed how much energy goes into getting the label right. There is a common trap of thinking that if you just pick the correct term, everything else will magically fall into place. The distinction matters, but probably not in the way you think. This is about understanding the difference, and about figuring out what you actually want instead of getting stuck debating termin