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The Ache for What They Have: Understanding Envy in Non-Monogamy
If you’re sitting there with a dropped stomach while your partner prepares for a date, you’ve probably assumed you’re dealing with jealousy. You look for resources, and everything tells you to manage your "fear of loss"... But what if you aren’t actually afraid of losing them? What if you're just looking at their life and feeling a sharp sting because they seem to be having a much better time than you are? There is a distinct difference between jealousy and envy in non-monoga

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 195 min read


How to Talk to Your Partner About Opening Up Your Relationship
You’ve been sitting with this for a while, haven’t you? Whether it started as a passing "what if" or a deep dive into polyamory reels, the thought has stuck . Now comes the dilemma: you haven’t told your partner yet . You’ve done the dress rehearsals, but the stakes feel enormous. Frankly, who wouldn’t put that off? But the longer you sit with it, the bigger it gets. Let’s talk about how to actually have the conversation. Key Takeaways The "Why" Matters: "I don't know, it j

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 85 min read


Jealousy in Non-Monogamy: What It Actually Means
Jealousy in non-monogamy carries an extra, heavy weight. There’s a persistent myth that "evolved" people don’t feel it, that they only feel compersion, and if you’re struggling, you simply haven't "done the work". That narrative is silly. Jealousy isn't a sign of failure; it’s a normal human response to a complex situation. Here is the direct truth about what jealousy actually is and, more importantly, what you can do with it. Key Takeaways Jealousy is Information, Not Evi

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 73 min read


Polyamory vs Open Relationship: What's the Difference (And Does It Matter)?
If you’ve been trying to figure out whether you want polyamory or an open relationship, you’ve likely noticed how much energy goes into getting the label right. There is a common trap of thinking that if you just pick the correct term, everything else will magically fall into place. The distinction matters, but probably not in the way you think. This is about understanding the difference, and about figuring out what you actually want instead of getting stuck debating termin

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 63 min read


What Is Non-Monogamy (And Are You Doing It Right)?
Non-monogamy is an umbrella term for relationship structures where there is an agreed possibility of multiple romantic or sexual connections. It isn't a fixed thing. It’s whatever you and your partner(s) decide it is - provided everyone is on the same page . The "consensual" bit is the only non-negotiable part; without it, you aren't doing non-monogamy, you're just deceiving people. Key Takeaways Monogamy is the assumed default: We live in a world where monogamy is the "norm,

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 53 min read


Finding a Polyamory-Friendly Counsellor in Birmingham (And What To Look Out For)
Key Takeaways Being "open-minded" is just the baseline: It doesn't replace the actual knowledge required to navigate metamour dynamics or relationship hierarchy. Non-monogamy is not a problem: A specialist takes your relationship structure as a given; they don't treat it as a symptom or the primary problem to be solved. Context over educating: You should spend the session processing the issues that have brought you here, not educating the counsellor on what solo poly or a

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 43 min read
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