Does this sound familiar?
You’ve stepped outside the traditional script of monogamy, but now you’re hitting walls you didn't expect:
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You've recently opened up and you weren't expecting the jealousy, or the arguments, that came with it.
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You agreed on ground rules early on, something like no feelings, just sex, and now one of you wants more emotional connection than that allows.
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You've done everything together so far and you're now deciding to date separately, and you don't know what agreements that needs.
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One of you is further along with all this than the other, and it's starting to feel like a different kind of relationship problem.
I’m not going to give you a prescription for what to do with your life, or preach that there is “one way” to non-monogamy.
Instead, we’ll explore what's interfering with the way you want to live and identify resources you already have (or can build) to move forward with greater clarity.
What we focus on.
My focus is on couples and individuals in the early phase of non-monogamy, roughly the first year or so of navigating this together. Our work can look like:
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Examining the stories you’ve been told about how relationships "must" look.
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Working through the jealousy or envy that comes up when one partner is getting more attention than the other, before it turns into fear of losing them.
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Loosening rigid rules and creating mutual agreements & boundaries that align with what you actually want from the relationship structure.
In non-monogamy, when things go sideways, it’s easy to feel like you're the only one struggling. Or that you're somehow "not cut out" for this. And often, there's not many people you can turn to for help/advice/understanding. It may seem like you're the only person you know doing relationships differently.
I provide a kink-aware, LGBTQ+ affirming, and inclusive space where we don't look for a "right" way to do polyamory, open relationships or ENM.
We look for your way.
And, as a polyamorous Black man, I'm also sensitive to the experience of being an ethnic minority in non-monogamous spaces that can often feel predominantly white.
I recognise how cultural context matters, and I’m here to help you navigate the messiness with clarity.
My background
Relate trained relationship counsellor
Accredited by National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society
LGBTQ+ affirming & kink-aware
Run a polyamory discussion group in the West Midlands
FAQs
Will you blame non-monogamy for all my/our relationship problems?
No. I recognise that you can have "normal" relationship problems - like chores, work stress, or communication - that have nothing to do with how many people you’re dating. I won’t use your relationship structure as a scapegoat for every challenge you face.
Do I need to bring all my partners to the session?
Not necessarily. You can come as an individual to work on your own "scripts," or you can come with a partner. I’m flexible with who is in the room, as long as we are clear about the goals for that specific configuration.
Do you understand terms like "Veto," "New Relationship Energy," and "Kitchen Table Poly"?
Yes. I’m familiar with the various ways people structure their lives, from Relationship Anarchy to hierarchical polyamory, and I’ll meet you where you are. You can check out this glossary for terms related to non-monogamy.
I've been non-monogamous for years, can I still book with you?
My work is focused on the early stages of opening up, so if you're further along I'd rather point you towards someone whose specialism matches where you are. Feel free to get in touch anyway and I can suggest who to reach out to.
Is this confidential?
Yes. What's said in session stays there, with very limited legal exceptions I'll explain clearly before we begin. Counselling sessions can also be arranged online if being seen locally is a concern.
Do you support same-sex & queer couples?
Absolutely, I'm fully inclusive in my work no matter your sexual and/or gender orientation. You are safe here.
Ready to talk?
I offer sessions at the Greenhouse in Digbeth, a short walk from the city centre, with evening and weekend availability. Or, I'm happy to see you online if that works better.
Sessions are 60 minutes: £60 individual, £90 couples, £40 per person for multi-partner sessions.
Book a free 30-minute consultation using the button below and we'll figure out if it's a good fit to work together. If we are, the next step is arranging your first session.