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How Couples Get Stuck When Trying To Recover From An Affair
When an affair is revealed or discovered, a couple almost instantly gets trapped in a brutal, exhausting loop. The partner who’s been hurt starts asking questions - loads of them, usually the exact same questions in slightly different variations. The person who committed the affair ends up feeling cross-examined, giving the same answer over and over while thinking: I’ve told you this. Why do you keep asking me a question when you already know the answer hurts you? If you stra

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
Jun 275 min read


What to Expect From Your First Couples Counselling Session
Walking into a couples counselling room for the first time can feel daunting. It is a bit strange, frankly, to sit down and spill your relationship issues to a stranger. So if you’re feeling a bit sceptical about the whole thing, that’s completely fair. Let’s take the mystery out of it, then. I’ll walk you through exactly what the process looks like when you work with me. It doesn't actually start with the first session; it starts with the consultation call. Key Takeaways A 3

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
Jun 75 min read


Jealousy in Non-Monogamy: What It Actually Means
Jealousy in non-monogamy carries an extra, heavy weight. There’s a persistent myth that "evolved" people don’t feel it, that they only feel compersion, and if you’re struggling, you simply haven't "done the work". That narrative is silly. Jealousy isn't a sign of failure; it’s a normal human response to a complex situation. Here is the direct truth about what jealousy actually is and, more importantly, what you can do with it. Key Takeaways Jealousy is Information, Not Evi

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 73 min read


Finding a Polyamory-Friendly Counsellor in Birmingham (And What To Look Out For)
Key Takeaways Being "open-minded" is just the baseline: It doesn't replace the actual knowledge required to navigate metamour dynamics or relationship hierarchy. Non-monogamy is not a problem: A specialist takes your relationship structure as a given; they don't treat it as a symptom or the primary problem to be solved. Context over educating: You should spend the session processing the issues that have brought you here, not educating the counsellor on what solo poly or a

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
May 43 min read


Masculinity and Intimacy: The Hidden Needs Men Don’t Share
Key Takeaways: For those navigating masculinity, feeling useful isn't just about ticking off domestic to-do’s; it’s a core way to feel safe and connected in a relationship. Masculinity is often about performing that everything is okay, and this can mask the exhaustion and fear of not being/doing enough underneath. Trusting a partner to exist as a separate individual doesn't drive them away. It makes staying a daily, active choice, increasing intimacy & commitment. Let’s look

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
Apr 295 min read


What Is Relationship Counselling For Non-Monogamy (And Does It Work)?
If you're non-monogamous and thinking about getting some support, there's a decent chance something’s been quietly putting you off. Maybe things aren't bad enough to justify it. Perhaps you're not sure what kind of help you actually need. Or you're simply tired of explaining yourself. You've had the raised eyebrows from people who don't get it, and the thought of sitting down to spend a whole session doing the "okay so I'm not cheating, this is consensual, let me explain w

Peter Holder (MNCPS)
Mar 179 min read
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