Jealousy in non-monogamy carries extra weight.  There's this idea that evolved, secure, properly non-monogamous people don't really struggle with jealousy. They feel compersion instead. They've done the work. And if you're sitting there feeling like your stomach's dropped out, well…maybe you just haven't done enough introspection yet! That narrative is silly. And this post is about unpacking why. What Actually Is Jealousy? Before we go any further, it's worth slowing down on

This guide is for anyone in Birmingham looking for support that meets them where they actually are.

The Conversation You're Avoiding You've been thinking about this for a while now, haven't you? Maybe it started as a passing thought - something you read online, a conversation with a friend, or just a quiet "what if?" that stuck with you.  Non-monogamy.  Opening up your relationship.  Polyamory.  You’re still testing out the words, like trying on a new fit. What makes the most sense? You’re still figuring that out, but what you know for sure is the once passing thought has b

There's a lot of content out there about non-monogamy.  A lot of it is about telling you what non-monogamy is, what the terms mean, and how to get started. Polyamory in particular seems to be gaining more visibility in online spaces. What’s often missing is a tangible sense of how it feels to actually live it. The not-so-glamorous, sometimes confusing "am I doing this wrong?"  version that doesn’t get as much attention. That's what this is about. What does “Non-Monogamy” mean

If I ask you to imagine what a relationship counselling session looks like, what do you see? I’m pretty confident it’s a room with a couch (sofa, settee, whatever you call it) and two people plonked on it, possibly a bit of a gap between them, facing opposite a clipboard wielding counsellor. And you’d be right. Partly. There is indeed a counsellor. The rest is up for debate. There’s a reason I said relationship counselling and not couples counselling, though the two are often

The first step towards repair is clarifying what’s actually taken place. It's already difficult to hit a moving target; more so when no one knows what the target looks like. Rushing to fix things will likely only make said things messier. So. You’ve given yourself a little (or a lot of) time and space. Everything hurts, but perhaps the feelings are just a tiny bit less raw. You’re in a position where you’re wondering what to do next. Let’s start here: was the relationship agr

You’re looking down at your phone, gripped a little tighter in hand than usual. Or, you’re staring blankly at your partner who has just confessed to you. Perhaps, somehow, many floating dots have suddenly connected seemingly out of the blue for you.  However you’re finding out, at first it’s as if the realisation doesn’t quite sink in. You pause to take it in, bit by bit, and once you begin to understand you realise something is hammering against your ribcage. You take a deep

Google this question and it can get a bit confusing. For the purpose of this article, and what I work with, a relationship agreement is a shared understanding between partners about how elements of their relationship work and what they expect from each other. These agreements come in two forms: spoken  and unspoken . A spoken relationship agreement is one where things have been explicitly discussed and decided together. An example of this? Joint accounts. You and your partner