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If you’re sitting there with a dropped stomach while your partner prepares for a date, you’ve probably assumed you’re dealing with jealousy. You look for resources, and everything tells you to manage your "fear of loss"... But what if you aren’t actually afraid of losing them? What if you're just looking at their life and feeling a sharp sting because they seem to be having a much better time than you are? There is a distinct difference between jealousy and envy in non-monoga

You’ve been sitting with this for a while, haven’t you? Whether it started as a passing "what if" or a deep dive into polyamory reels, the thought has stuck . Now comes the dilemma: you haven’t told your partner yet . You’ve done the dress rehearsals, but the stakes feel enormous. Frankly, who wouldn’t put that off? But the longer you sit with it, the bigger it gets. Let’s talk about how to actually have the conversation. Key Takeaways The "Why" Matters: "I don't know, it j

Jealousy in non-monogamy carries an extra, heavy weight. There’s a persistent myth that "evolved" people don’t feel it, that they only feel compersion, and if you’re struggling, you simply haven't "done the work". That narrative is silly. Jealousy isn't a sign of failure; it’s a normal human response to a complex situation. Here is the direct truth about what jealousy actually is and, more importantly, what you can do with it. Key Takeaways Jealousy is Information, Not Evi

If you’ve been trying to figure out whether you want polyamory or an open relationship, you’ve likely noticed how much energy goes into getting the label right. There is a common trap of thinking that if you just pick the correct term, everything else will magically fall into place. The distinction matters, but probably not in the way you think. This is about understanding the difference, and about figuring out what you actually want instead of getting stuck debating termin

Non-monogamy is an umbrella term for relationship structures where there is an agreed possibility of multiple romantic or sexual connections. It isn't a fixed thing. It’s whatever you and your partner(s) decide it is - provided everyone is on the same page . The "consensual" bit is the only non-negotiable part; without it, you aren't doing non-monogamy, you're just deceiving people. Key Takeaways Monogamy is the assumed default: We live in a world where monogamy is the "norm,

Key Takeaways Being "open-minded" is just the baseline: It doesn't replace the actual knowledge required to navigate metamour dynamics or relationship hierarchy. Non-monogamy is not a problem: A specialist takes your relationship structure as a given; they don't treat it as a symptom or the primary problem to be solved. Context over educating: You should spend the session processing the issues that have brought you here, not educating the counsellor on what solo poly or a

Maybe your partner pursued a connection in a way that went beyond what you'd discussed, and you only found out because something didn't add up. Maybe a safer sex agreement was quietly abandoned. Perhaps date nights that were supposed to be protected keep getting cancelled in favour of a newer connection. Or someone made a decision that affected the whole network without consulting anyone else. However it's happened, there's a moment where the shock of what you've just discove

Here's the thing about non-monogamy: you’re gonna talk about a lot of things that most people in relationships never have to think about. How much time you give to different connections. Which details get shared between partners and what is kept private. What happens if someone catches feelings when that wasn’t part of the plan. These aren't conversations monogamous couples typically have, but when you're non-monogamous navigating them is part of the deal. And yet, even p

If you're non-monogamous and thinking about getting some support, there's a decent chance something’s been quietly putting you off. Maybe things aren't bad enough to justify it. Perhaps you're not sure what kind of help you actually need. Or you're simply tired of explaining yourself. You've had the raised eyebrows from people who don't get it, and the thought of sitting down to spend a whole session doing the "okay so I'm not cheating, this is consensual, let me explain w